Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
