Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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