Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
