I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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