1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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