Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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