i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Randomize
