Porn is love you can see.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
