well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize