i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
MIDGETS
????
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize