i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize