only you would photoshop your dick
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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