seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
