Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
