She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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