I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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