The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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