he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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