dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
