We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
