So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
