Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I booty called her while she was in labor.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
