Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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