i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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