so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Im just a social blackout drinker.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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