i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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