drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize