He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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