Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
