i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
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