My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
