Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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