Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
