Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
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