I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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