How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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