I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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