just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize