Taylor Swift is so right about you.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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