dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
