So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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