It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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