The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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