I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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