sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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