Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
