been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
