I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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