(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
