you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
