I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
