My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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