Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
