Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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