I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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