So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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