I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
