Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
