She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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