Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
