I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
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