I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
