OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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